As many of you know, in March/April 2008 I went to Brazil along with my husband and son. It was a fantastic trip. The main purpose of the trip, though, was to be a part of a workshop that involved the ceremonial use of the plant medicine, ayahuasca. This medicine has been used by native Amazonians for thousands of years for healing of all types (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, etc.). Each of the 3 ceremonies that I attended during the week was overseen by an ayahuasquero (a type of shaman) and his assistant. They brew the medicine prior to the ceremony, which is done by combining 2 different plants that are native to the Amazon jungle and cooking them together. One plant contains the DMT molecule, which is a naturally occurring substance that floods our brains both at birth and death (and there is a theory that it floods the brain of a woman giving birth as well, but it is not known for sure). The other plant contains an MAO inhibitor that allows the DMT to be absorbed by the stomach and then into the bloodstream where it passes through the blood-brain barrier.

The first ceremony was a nighttime ceremony. Mats with pillows and colorful blankets were set up on the floor. Warinei, the ayahuasquero, started out by telling us not to be afraid to vomit or go to the bathroom if we had to poop, but to let it all out as this is part of the purging and healing process. Breathe deeply if we needed to, and connect with the earth. He and his assistant, Sara, were there to help us. Then he spent a good 5 minutes blessing the medicine while chanting. His chanting was wonderful to me. It brought tears to my eyes and I found my body moving to its rhythm. It had an otherworldly sound to it that was intimately familiar despite my never having heard it before. Even now I can bring back that chanting sound and find myself relaxing and feeling peaceful.

One by one each of us approached the table and the ayahuasca was poured for us into a little wooden bowl which was then handed to us to drink. Each time I would take a deep breath, say a little prayer for what I needed at that time, and drink it. The first time it didn't taste bad to me at all. Still, it was good to have a sip of water immediately after as it is not a pleasant taste. I went back to my mat and waited. After everyone drank, Warinei resumed his chanting, and later took to the drums. I loved it each time he did that.

I didn't feel anything for a long time. A range of emotions went through me. I felt some physical sensations of being slightly nauseous, feeling glued to the floor, and having wobbly legs when I stood up to go to the bathroom (but nothing came of that). It was only after it was over and after I had acknowledged my disappointment that the experience wasn't amazing in some way that I came to realize that this was my first meeting with this female spirit plant medicine and we needed to get to know each other. Literally. I had to surrender any expectations I had regarding my experience. Despite having almost nothing to say about the first ceremony, I had allowed the plant medicine to enter me and she had begun her healing work.

The second ceremony was the daytime one. This time I drank a larger amount of the medicine. About a half hour after, I felt the medicine starting to take effect. It was very, very strong. I found myself in my labor position -- on my hands and knees and breathing deeply and slowly swaying to the waves of energy that were coursing through me. I was rooted to the earth and yet entering a timeless space. I could feel myself going up a ladder, on the line between a waking and a dream state. I started seeing animated figures in the wooden posts of the platform. Then I felt like I had to purge and I went down towards the bathrooms as fast as I could before picking a bush and letting loose. I could barely move, walked 2 steps before I had to sit down. I noticed two bushes of the same species and faces appeared in them. I knew that they were a husband and wife bush. It was all good. I made it over to the grassy area and someone brought me a pillow and blanket and I gratefully stationed myself there.

A deep, musical humming was resonating through me. I looked up at the clouds and faces appeared and faded. They looked like the faces you see in religious imagery from various cultures -- totem pole faces, Hindu god faces, etc. They were all part of the same consciousness as me. At this point the experience became so strong (in between vomiting sessions) that I had to close my eyes and go inward. Streams of consciousness moved through me, through my physical eyes and also my 3rd eye. Much time passed in this manner but I could feel my entire being, down to the cellular level, being totally cleansed and reprogrammed. Many of the images I saw were extremely similar to the artwork of Alex Grey (many of Alex Grey's paintings are based on visions that he has had while on an ayahuasca journey). At times the journey was so intense that I would have to say to myself "the only way out, is through" and I was able to keep breathing and keep calm. Eventually I went back to the main platform with the mats and blankets and stayed there for awhile. I was exhausted from my experience but still felt the medicine working within me. I slowly climbed back down the ladder, floating in between the waking and dream world for awhile.

During all of the journeys Sara would go around and cleanse everyone with a burning sage or something similar. The smoke and smell would center me each time.

The third journey was also a nighttime one. This time I found the medicine to be a very bitter brew, and had a hard time getting it down. This journey was gentle. It started out by bringing back old, sweet childhood memories that I had not thought about for a long time. I could hear Warinei playing the drums, and the energy vibrations only served to assist with increasing the vibration of every cell in my body. Prior to drinking the medicine, I had asked for healing from a specific trauma and at this point in the 3rd journey I was shown an image and was instantly healed. It was amazing.

I felt myself going in deeper, and all of a sudden came face to face with my Goddess. I recognized her immediately, as I have known her all my life. She was beautiful -- had blue eyes and gray/white hair and this moon-shaped white stone with red and orange streaks in it embedded into her forehead. She said I could ask her anything I wanted to. Thus we began a dialogue. I was shown wonderful things in my future about my own little family. I asked my Goddess what I should be doing with my life. She told me that for now I was to be a mother and raise my children. The rest will be revealed to me later.

I saw my 3rd eye was wide open, with a cone of energy expanding from me out to the heavens and streams of consciousness pouring into me. At the very top, way up high, I saw a face that morphed into one face after another, each one increasingly alien until the last one looked to be that of a Grey. I had no fear, as we are all part of the same, but I giggled realizing I felt like a peep show, with these other beings totally checking me out and seeing what was going on.

My Goddess asked me if I had any other things to ask her. I had none, so all of a sudden the journey was over, and I was left feeling light, peaceful, and totally high on love. The next morning was one of the most beautiful ever. That's one of the nice things about the medicine and the journey -- there is never any "hangover", just a feeling of being washed clean and ready for a new day.

It is now 3 months later and so many things have changed for the better because of my introduction to and work with the ayahuasca. I am so grateful to have had this opportunity. Overall there is more peace, awareness, and calmness in my life. I look forward to going back in the near future.



Written by Lee V. July 2008