I had recently diverted a trip from India to Brasil after hearing about an Ancient Plant Medicine used by the Amazonians of South America called Ayahuasca. This ´brew´ was used for thousands of years to heal and journey into the unknown to seek universal knowledge and to expand consciousness. I felt a strong desire to search and seek out this natural medicine.

After several inquiries I found a group called ´Heart of the Initiate´ that offered a 7 or 14 day Ayahuasca journey workshop located at a beachside eco resort on the north east coast of Brasil. A ritual ceremony was to be carried out by a Shaman.

After I arrived in Brasil I met the facilitator and other participants. I also met the Shaman who was from Columbia. To my surprise he came with his wife, 3 year old daughter and 4 month old son and a female assistant name Catalina.  I expected some medicine-type man that is depicted in movies with tattoos - a painted face, bones through his ears, nose, mouth and eyes, covered in trinkets, crystals and dead animal parts. But no, this man was simple and humble. Two beautiful free spirited children, a wife and assistant that had a presence of warmth and softness. I felt at ease.
   
We began with a lecture on the plant medicine.  It is made from an infusion of two Amazonian plant species; a leafy bush called Psychotria Viridis and a vine called Banisteriopsis Caapi. The Viridis contains a very powerful psychoactive and visionary substance called Dimethyltryptamine (DMT) which is found in all living things. DMT is also produced by the pineal gland. Recent research indicates that the pineal gland produces large amounts of DMT during birth and death, and some people believe this is the entry and departure point of the spirit or soul. So the DMT is the primary source of the visionary experience.

The second plant, Caapi, contains mildly psychoactive substances with properties of serotonin and dopamine. These are natural human hormonal substances that create an increased state of awareness and wellbeing.

The DMT in the Viridis plant taken alone is inactive and will be destroyed in the gut by the digestive enzymes. It is therefore combined with the Caapi to allow the DMT to pass through the blood and brain barrier. Myth tells the story that the plants called on the Amazonians to mix the two together and create a substance that could be used for healing and visionary journeys.

Ayahuasca is not a form of recreational high. The plants have been combined specifically for ritual purposes and are not to be abused. The Ayahuasca represents the sacred feminine to the indigenous of the Amazonia and their reason to introduce the medicine to others is bring about healing and consciousness.

I participated in six separate ceremonies throughout the two week period. All had similarities and differences. It was, however, the final journey that seemed to be the most powerful. I also received a healing from the Shaman.

I fasted that day before the ceremony commenced around mid afternoon. The Shaman, Warinei made his standard recommendations about the protocols of vomiting and defecating. He told us to not resist or purge for the first 45 minutes, but rather to surrender and let the medicine to her work. He told us to breathe deeply and touch the earth if we felt overwhelmed.

The ceremony commenced with Warinei blessing the jugs of the Ayahuasca as we all sat around in silence. He chanted whilst rapidly fanning the plant brew with a bunch of leaves called ‘Hauira’ meaning, ‘leaves of the wind’. Catalina smudged each person with incense. After he finished I was summoned to sit in front of him. (It reminded me of taking my first holy communion in the catholic church – although this ritual seemed much more ancient and natural). Warinei then poured the Ayahuasca into a small cup and made another blessing. He smiled at me and handed me the cup. I looked into the cup and saw this thick brown-coloured substance. As I bought it to my lips I could smell the pungent odour. I began to drink. It still tasted foul even after having drunk many cups during previous ceremonies. It was one of the worst things I have ever tasted. I struggled to keep it down. I could feel the substance work its way down my throat and into my body. I tasted every bit of it. Warinei smiled at me again. I then took my place and laid down on a mattress on a grassy area in anticipation waiting for what the Ayahuasca had install for me.

Soon I began to feel the plant taking affect. I had energy running all through my body. I had a slightly sick feeling in my stomach. I could still taste the medicine in my mouth. I breathed deeply and placed my hands on the earth.

With my eyes closed I started to see many amazing patterns, shapes and colours appearing like some psychedelic movie from the sixties. Nothing like I had seen before. There were angelic faces and archetypal images of ancient times. I laid back and enjoyed the images in a euphoric state. My whole body felt joy and ecstasy and my heart seemed wide open.

At times I opened my eyes and my whole reality had changed. The clouds made shapes of God and Goddess like beings. I had a Buddha like figure smiling down at me. All of nature had come alive but in a cartoon type image. My senses and awareness were heightened. Life appeared to stand still. I felt in love with existence. And in the background I could hear the Shaman chanting whilst he softly beat a drum.

Suddenly the images changed. With my eyes closed I started to see images of ugly creatures and demons. They moved at a rapid pace. I surrendered to them and allowed them to come. My mind started to go into overload and the chatter became fast and loud. It was my dark side, my shadow. It was showing me my egoic patterns.

Then the sickly feeling intensified. I managed to stand up. I felt nauseous. I walked towards some bushes and vomited profusely. It felt like I was releasing some form of animal that was living inside me. It was primal and ancient. And by the sound of what was around me I was not the only one purging my whole insides up!
   
I was then summoned by Warinei for a healing. I sat down on a stool. He drank some red liquid and spat it onto my head and body. It smelt like a fruity wine. He then began to chant and fan me with the Huaira. Twice I had to remove myself and purge, vomit and diarrhea. I was cleansing. It was invigorating and energizing. He then blew smoke into my head and body, made grunting noises and used crystals and stones on my body. As he chanted Catalina smudged me and sang a sweet lullaby. It was the divine feminine and masculine together creating an energy of healing. I felt held and afterwards found a place of stillness and peace. I felt so much love and gratitude.

After the healing I went to the seaside. The high was amazing and my heart felt so open and in love with all existence. I experienced hallucinations and distorted visions. I danced to the beating of a drum. The ocean and wind sounded like a symphony playing a beautiful melody, day had gone into night and the stars and moon became much more alive.   

The journeys showed me that healing happens through presence and that consciousness is in the now, not the past or the future. It told me to feel into my body and helped me open my heart. It showed me my inner being and how I create my reality. And the biggest insight it gave me was that love of self and others is the only answer, ´nothing else BUT love´.  

I saw the beauty of a humble and loving family. I saw the simplicity of a young three year old girl dancing and playing with her own shadow and the presence and stillness in her as she let the rainwater drip from the eaves of a thatched roof onto her sweet and innocent face and sound a soft giggle.

I finished the workshop feeling peaceful and trusting that life will take me on a journey where it wants me to go, a bit like the Ayahuasca. I feel that some sort of healing has taken place however it is difficult to pin point what in particular. I do however feel that some form of change and transformation has taken place and that consciousness is guiding us all to do the same thing so that we can live on this planet in alignment with nature, in peace and in love.



Written by Anthony Brown June 2008