Many people have sent us their stories of their own awakening.

Although some of these stories have come from past workshop participants, we encourage anyone to send us their own story.

We have just recently updated this section and invite you to read these Redemption Songs.

I am not looking for sympathy here only an understanding of what prompted me to take part in Ayahuasca ceremonies after learning that the medicine was a great healer.

This process allows you to relive the experience to gain new understanding and insight enabling resolution or closure. It often results in re-evaluation of your life course with strong tendency and resolution to pursue positive changes to improve your life with renewed purpose and mission. Now I have peace...

Ayahuasca has confirmed to me that this world is an illusion created by mass thought. Sadly I believe the collective thoughts of the human race have been hijacked by a very deceptive force and we live lives that the hijackers want us to live. I believe we can change this world by changing mass thought and if the majority of minds can wake up to what is really going on then a massive spiritual shift is possible and we will reconnect with the paradise world that I have been shown and seen.

Aya does generate different responses because each drinker possesses a distinct psychological predisposition. Yet the results are the same. One result is the lessening of the false self, ego, or conditioned thinking—that sneering voice inside our minds always ready to take over the driver’s seat in our life-car. A second result is an opening to greater energy, clarity, and love, and, for some, entry into exotic psychic dimensions.

A Safe, Friendly Embrace by Big Brother Aya

Only Love Can Bring the Rain

Hello folks,
It’s not easy to describe my experiences in Brazil so please bear with me as I try to do just that.

I am fast approaching 50 years of age and I have never taken any substances or drugs of any kind throughout this life in this world life. I really haven’t smoked a joint or sniffed any white powders. I have drunk a lot of ale during my life though.

After a series of events in early 2007 I received an invitation from a Mr PP to visit the eco-lodge resort in Bahia, Brazil and attend an ‘Ayahuasca Workshop’. During this workshop I was to drink the ancient medicine on three occasions. Here is a link to the Heart of the Initiate website. I will say to anyone that is in the position or inclined to take part in an ayahuasca workshop that they won’t find a better one than the one at Bahia. Not one.

If any novice wants to read up on Shamans here is a basic description.

Having met PP some months earlier at Temple Bar in London I soon realised that he was a man that genuinely sought the truth and he was actually willing to walk the walk to do so. He told me he was putting a crew together to visit Brazil and carry out three ayahuasca ceremonies and he wanted me there too. Obviously I pondered on the thought why a man like PP would invite me to join his crew.

I felt like I was standing on the edge of Vesuvius but I knew in my heart that I would take up his kind offer and go. I am very glad that I did. I am well pleased and I was not negatively beguiled in anyway. PP is one of the very few people I have met that actually seeks the truth. I am becoming very disillusioned with certain sections of the conspiracy /spiritualists communities and I fear that ‘yuppies’ are taking over the asylum so to speak, where money and ego are becoming the only tools to create information. In my opinion the same mentality that raped and pillaged the material fads and material fashions of the past is trying to do the same to the spiritual events currently in progress in this world. Please be warned that a sheep is a sheep no matter what pen it is led to.

Anyway.

I arrived in Bahia on the 1st September 2007after a very long journey including 3 planes, 1 boat, 1 train, two buses and a land rover. I hadn’t a clue what I was doing there! PP’s crew included some powerful and wealthy people and I initially felt out of place and so did my wife as she was the only female present in the crew. The rest of the crew soon put us at ease (thanks lads) and my wife soon found other female company with the wonderful staff at the eco-lodge resort.

The crew soon bonded and I can see that the events of the long journey had caused us to unite in spirit long before we actually arrived at Bahia. It was just like we had done it, or planned it, all before. Maybe we had?

We settled in easily and before we knew it was time for the first ceremony. Please remember that I hadn’t taken any substances, drugs or ancient medicines in my life before and neither had the majority of the crew.

The majority of the crew were apprehensive and who can blame us because lets face it we weren’t just going to have a drink of orange juice here and eat a chocolate biscuit were we? We were going to take ayahuasca which is a very powerful mind and spirit altering medicine. We had been previously warned that ayahuasca may make us vomit or shit ourselves stupid or both! Not the most positive of descriptive ways to encourage people to take it is it?

“Oh, by the way, Matthew you are likely to spew your guts up or shite through the eye of a needle after you drink this stuff…do you want one cup or two my dear!”

I had visions of my late mother appearing in the forthcoming visions I was about to experience, wagging her finger whilst saying: “Have you got clean underpants on laddie? You soon won’t have me laddie boy so I hope you have brought a clean pair for when they cart you off to hospital! Go on get shit faced on drugs you silly bugger… but don’t you dare show me up at the hospital and turn up with dirty underpants on”
(I swear that’s exactly how my Mam would have seen the situation) Anyway let’s get on eh?

Perfect

I am perfect, meaning what? we are always told to be the best we can, strive to be better.

We are told we have to do good in school, if we show any interest in sports or extra activities we have to work hard to be our best. We are told in order to be a success in this world we have to be smart and go to college right after we spend 12 years of our life in school we are pushed to continue right away,do not take a break you will fall behind. We are told we should know what we want to (be) and work towards that. We should take class after class,study and learn as much as we can. Then if we have trouble in math or our slant is not going (the right way) when writing or when our spelling is wrong or the way we write a sentence is not good enough, we are labeled. If we do not want to join a team or play an instrument,or do extra activities we are labeled. If as a child we are sitting alone playing and talking to our (imaginary friend) we are labeled and if we just don't want to (fit in) and are ok with being a lone we are labeled. Then as we grow up we continue to do all these things we are told we should do but we do not want to do, every time we do not achieve what others say we should be achieving we feel imperfect.

My Experience in Barbados

Heart of the Initiate - Barbados - January 2002

An experience of my life I will never forget. Looking back at it now - two months later - it is more clear than ever how this has been the major turning point for me. I have a pre-Barbados life and a post-Barbados life. Both are so different. In the pre-Barbados life - I was often sad - alone - withdrawn - and so stuck in pain. Most of all - my Heart was closed. The hardest thing in the world for me was to really be close to people - really be open to them.

Then I came to Heart of the Initiate. My good friend Ralph had contacted me a few months before, when he saw a post on a discussion forum that I had written. He saw the pain, the fear but also the deep desire I had to open my heart. So Ralph invited me to Barbados - to come and experience the heart energy for the first time in my life. I knew I had to go - I felt it in my Heart. The seminar really began at that moment - when Ralph contacted me. Because whenever I chatted with him on the Internet - or whenever I spoke to him on the phone - I literally felt my Heart Chakra so strongly. It blew me away - I had never experienced anything like that in my life.

Who Am I Without It?

The pain has become like a veil. I can no longer tell that it's separate from me and I wouldn't begin to know who I am without it shrouding me, protecting me, loving me.

I know that sounds ridiculous, but I've been searching all my life & even though I've run across a few people and a few techniques, I've still to unlock the veil that now imprisons me and I'm scared. It's been so long since I've been without it. It has a life now. It has a memory. It nourishes me.

Have you gone down that road too? Jesus! I knew when I came here that all the sentient beings here could choose, that's what they told me. But I didn't realize that in choosing there comes consequences of attraction by MASS! Once you make a mistake, it's like all the ghouls on the fucking planet find you. The scent glands of the carnivorous are truly an amazing creation. They can sniff you out no matter how hard or where you try to hide. They're everywhere!

Density

In the Density of Denial lies the seed of change
Remember the original trauma, relive the Pain
Release the Shame
No guilt, no blame
Forgive the Past, be free at last
In the Density of Denial there's a tiny light
Remember, relive, release, realize
Ignite the Flame and burn it bright
Because Darkness can't exist in Light.